Paul Ross - 20 Inch Canvas Print

[Mockmaster]

Stolen from RLLMUK but pretty hilarious.

Check out the reviews for this PAUL ROSS - 20 Inch Canvas Print on Amazon



http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/product/ ... JGIWFHZVM2

[Jimmy Shedders]

£48? Bargain.

[Octoroc]

This doesn't make any sense.

Is God testing me again?

[Cardinal Chunder]

£48? Bargain.

That's your birthday present sorted.

[Godzilla]

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins!

[Vermin]

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins!

Octoroc?

[more heat than light]

I recently purchased this poster, and while it's lifelike, well made and had a certain, portly charm to it, I have since found out that it's actually *cheaper* to hire Paul Ross to come over and stand against a wall, whenever you feel the need to look at him.

[Hesk]

From page 2 -

Now then,

Our Josey is getting on a bit like, I mean she can still have a laugh at the telly and that and will still do me a roast dinner - 'Throw an egg on it girl, I'm Hank Marvin here' - nioce one Josey. Anyway, her telly went on the Barton Fink a few beards back and we've all been purely Keith Flint since nineteen oh benk when Tate and Lyle shut so me and our kid threw a couple of pound notes in and got the old girl this very smart photie of that lad off the telly whose brother is pure minted.

It's given the old lass pure minutes of pleasure, d'yer know what she said? Eh? Do yer? Do yer? She said,'Eric Lad, that's the best picture of a fella sitting at a table having a sly bevvie that I've ever seen!'.

She's dead now.

But happy.

Nice one, Paul, lad.

edit - If you keep reading, there's loads of gems! This one made me proper lol -

Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week.

[KK]

Brilliant.

[Octoroc]

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins!

Octoroc?

Not me. I'm just utterly confounded by the mere existence of the thing. It doesn't make any sense. I try to be an empathic person and I understand that any human being can be driven to all kinds of horrific and grotesque states of mind, but what drives a man to manufacture 50cm prints of Paul Ross sat in a garden?

[HrC]

If you think thats bad, apparently you can get the same photo on a t-shirt or a mouse mat.

Reviews are great though.

[Oh Teh Noes]

Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week.

Shoddy, Amazon. C-.

[Ironhide]

I had been working in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York as a restorer when I first chanced upon this portrait of Paul. It has been sent to me for cleaning, as the varnish had become quite grubby from his admirers rubbing his chins for good luck to the point where he resembled Abraham Lincoln.

Well, as I started work, I could swear that Paul was starting to move INSIDE the painting. I laughed this off immediately, blaming the fumes from the varnish remover; however, as it happened, I should not have laughed, for then Paul spoke and said:

"I am Paul, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia.
On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood.
What was will be; What is will be no more.
Now is the season of evil!".

Then something about bringing him a child so that he may be reborn or something to that effect. Frankly I can't remember his exact chilling words as I had just done a huge bum chunder, and then ran screaming from the museum. I took my baby son Oscar and left New York for good.

Buy this exquisitely made (from hard wearing materials) print at your own risk.

[Jax]

I'd buy it











If i was mental

[Saint of Killers]

I had been working in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York as a restorer when I first chanced upon this portrait of Paul. It has been sent to me for cleaning, as the varnish had become quite grubby from his admirers rubbing his chins for good luck to the point where he resembled Abraham Lincoln.

Well, as I started work, I could swear that Paul was starting to move INSIDE the painting. I laughed this off immediately, blaming the fumes from the varnish remover; however, as it happened, I should not have laughed, for then Paul spoke and said:

"I am Paul, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia.
On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood.
What was will be; What is will be no more.
Now is the season of evil!".

Then something about bringing him a child so that he may be reborn or something to that effect. Frankly I can't remember his exact chilling words as I had just done a huge bum chunder, and then ran screaming from the museum. I took my baby son Oscar and left New York for good.

Buy this exquisitely made (from hard wearing materials) print at your own risk.

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins!