Banter: With Danny Dyer

[The People's ElboReformat]

You deleted that quickly. Now it looks like I've been spamming in here.

[bigcheez2k3]

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

[The People's ElboReformat]

No.

[Oh Teh Noes]

you're fockin' mentoe mate

fock off back to scotland ya cont

[bigcheez2k3]

No.

[The People's ElboReformat]

You see this guy Noes:




Yeah?


That's you that is.



yeah

[Oh Teh Noes]

I'll fockin' run you over in ma Nova innit meeeeeht

[bigcheez2k3]

You'd be a gooseberry fool chav, you'd look like one of those dads that tries to dress like the youth.

[chalkitdown]

There is some seriously attractive looking women out in Manchester tonight.

[The People's ElboReformat]

pics

[Oh Teh Noes]

Saltash is, i suspose, a suburb of Plymouth, chav capital of the south west, but saltash boasts being on the other side of the river tamar, meaning it has the cheek to call itself cornish.

The 3 main chav hangouts are as follows;


1) Saltash Community School (or the bottom of the school drive to be precise) – here is where at breaktimes/end of the school day/during any ‘strawberry floating gay’ lessons the junior chavs can hang out. It usually consists of 17 – 19 year old boys in their keved up cars, among 14-16 year old girls smoking FEGS (or waiting for the ‘ends/dabs of ends’ of their friends).
My experience of school in this town was one where a 15year old girl became preggers (by a 21year old – more experienced chav) but then the baby became the fashion accessory of the year, and shortly after 3 of her friends got knocked up, 2 by the same guy – but there still best friends – insest is welcome – we r cornish after all’
Inside the school the scum pit of saltash is still alive. Never before have i seen toilets so covered in ‘for sex phone 84****’. and ‘joe bloggs is a strawberry floating slag’. It has puzzled me for years why you have a black marker pen with you in the toilets.

2) Saltash College of Knowledge (including K2 youth club) – This is where the chavs go after completing their compulsory education. They would participate in courses such as ‘beauty therpy’ or ‘hairdressing’ for the girls and ‘computing’ for the boys.
On a weekday evening part of the college opens up for the 14+ youth group. This is basically a place that you can tell your parents your going to, so (for the ones that care) they know your in a safe place, while actually you sit outside kwik shop waiting to find someone who’ll buy 3 litres of ‘white lighting’ for you then proceed to walk the streets, bottle in hand, sleeping with as many people, abusing as many adults, and drinking as many litres as u can. Before ariving home at 10.05pm only to go straight to bed.

3) Saltmill Skate Park – a fairly new addition to the chavdom. when developing saltash a few years ago they must have taken into consideration the huge under age drinking problem this town has. So to solve it some bigwig thought – i know, we’ll build a skate park just outside town so all the youths can hangout there. They’ll be able to drink, take class A drugs, have unprotected sex and vandilise to their hearts content, but it’ll be just outside town so no one can see to complain – problem solved!!

The other thing about this town is that in order for the children to avoid becomming complete chavs, the only other option would be becomming a slipknot/korn/metalica fan of the scariest variety – where is the happy medium this town is crying out for!!!

[The People's ElboReformat]

I've been to Saltash. It's rubbish. More like... Saltass. eh? lol.

[chalkitdown]

pics

[The People's ElboReformat]

[Oh Teh Noes]

I've been to Saltash. It's rubbish. More like... Saltass. eh? lol.

You have?

Even though it's gooseberry fool, I still miss it. I guess living somewhere for 15 years will do that to you.

[The People's ElboReformat]

I've been to Saltash. It's rubbish. More like... Saltass. eh? lol.

You have?

Even though it's gooseberry fool, I still miss it. I guess living somewhere for 15 years will do that to you.

Yes. I think I have.

It's just across the bridge from Plymouth, right? Or am I thinking of another place? It was years ago now.

[Oh Teh Noes]

Yeah, that's right.

What'd you do there? (nothing 'cos there's nothing to do lol)

[The People's ElboReformat]

Yeah, that's right.

What'd you do there? (nothing 'cos there's nothing to do lol)

Nothing really. Just walked about, had something to eat and went to a pub that was painted like a big Union Jack which looked strawberry floating awful.

[Oh Teh Noes]

Ah, the Union Inn. Never actually been in there. Looks nice from the train though.

[The People's ElboReformat]

I didn't go in. Just sat out the front of it. Is it some kind of BNP Pub? Doesn't look nice. Looks rubbish and tacky and BNPish. Lol pish.