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Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:38 pm
by DeckardRunner
Dumped today :(

"I thought that being in a relationship was what i wanted but thinking about it, i really think that the best thing is for me not to be with anyone right now" and a bit of bullshit about weather I wanted to talk about it sometime, although on Facebook as she's currently sunning it up in France right now.

My reply:

"To be honest I knew that things had fizzled out and wasn't happy, so this is for the best, I hope you enjoy the rest of France". I thought it might have been a bit too short so sent this too:

"sorry that reply seemed a little short, if you do want to talk about things then feel free to e-mail me, but I'm not on here much from next week like"

I think that was a decent reply to it, I give it a month before she has a new boyfriend :(

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:44 pm
by Red
Shalashaska wrote:
Red wrote:
Fazarelli wrote:
Shalashaska wrote:
Shalashaska wrote:My GF dumped me 2 weeks ago. I can't claim I know how your feeling since you were in your relation allot longer. But With mine, we were all fine one day, then in the space of about a week she just changed completely. One moment we were having a great time, the next thing I know it was like she had become a different person, none of the affection she used to show and telling me she dosent want me coming out with her and it then got progressively worse to the point of getting fired. How did I cope? Red Bull, weed and wanking.
Just got the old "Your the best boyfriend ever, and if I wanted a boyfriend at the moment I'd want you, but I just want to be alone for now" Well if I was that good a boyfriend then I should have been a bit harder to dump. Well we havent even so much as texted each other since the incident, I'm not going to crumble. I've already arranged to meet some girls next week.


Lol, apparently she has just got back with her ex, evidently "I don't want a boyfriend right now" was referring to a 2 week window. Part of me wishes I was a spiteful **** that would ring her up with a torrent of abuse, but It seems like allot of effort. I got played.



From what i've learnt, most of them are sneaky ********. They won't give up what they've got until they have someone else lined up.


Sounds like she was trying to be nice tbh. Rather than saying "hey, you are a substandard boyfriend", she tried to sugar-coat the pill.



I was a good boyfriend, too good. Thats why I thought she needed to be treated nicer when I saw how her ex treated her. But Now I realize I was too nice, women just seem to want to be treated like gooseberry fool. The boyfriend didn't have anything on me, except history and acting like a dick, why she would want him back, who knows (obviously she is comforted by the familiar) but I just have to swallow my pride and move on. I'm one hot mother strawberry floater and I will find someone else.


Yeah, because there is no middle ground between "too nice" and "gooseberry fool". Christ.

Women tend not to want a fawning sap who hangs onto their every word and with whom there is no spark, friction or, consequently, variety and interest. No one wants a wet lettuce. They want someone who stands up for himself and has a personality. To guys who can't acknowledge their own failings and who need to pin the entire disaster on the other person, this seems to mean they like being treated like gooseberry fool, whereas anyone with half a brain can see that's just delusional. Maybe the ex isn't as bad as she made out - perhaps she told you he was such a dick because you felt insecure about her past relations and therefore she wanted to reassure you. Maybe your judgement of this guy is entirely one-sided and as a result flawed.

I'm sorry you're upset and everything, getting dumped sucks, but every nerd thread where a guy gets ditched brings out the worst in you people. Suddenly you're being entirely shitty to every woman out there and it's not hard to see what made you unattractive enough to dump. Have the maturity to acknowledge that something between the two of you failed along the way and that it probably was both your faults, rather than starting to throw the old "women want to be treated like gooseberry fool, I'm such a perfect boyfriend, how could she ever turn me down!" gem around.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:27 pm
by jamcc
From your picture you posted a few weeks ago, you'd never think Red would be such a hard nosed bitch.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:31 pm
by SEP
I think I'm falling in love.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:32 pm
by Trinity
jamcc wrote:From your picture you posted a few weeks ago, you'd never think Red would be such a hard nosed bitch.



I bet in real life she's lovely.


I've thought about...not finishing this sentence.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:48 pm
by Glowy69
Well she has just been to fetch her stuff..and I did quite well. I pretty much ignored her, said hi to her mum. Told her she was out of line for putting what she did on FB and why I took her off my list. She couldnt really answer me.

And she went. her mum said she was sorry and has lost her patience with her, none of her family dont know whats going on and why she did it.

So all in all I was good. :D

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:22 pm
by Denster
Red wrote:
Shalashaska wrote:
Red wrote:
Fazarelli wrote:
Shalashaska wrote:
Shalashaska wrote:My GF dumped me 2 weeks ago. I can't claim I know how your feeling since you were in your relation allot longer. But With mine, we were all fine one day, then in the space of about a week she just changed completely. One moment we were having a great time, the next thing I know it was like she had become a different person, none of the affection she used to show and telling me she dosent want me coming out with her and it then got progressively worse to the point of getting fired. How did I cope? Red Bull, weed and wanking.
Just got the old "Your the best boyfriend ever, and if I wanted a boyfriend at the moment I'd want you, but I just want to be alone for now" Well if I was that good a boyfriend then I should have been a bit harder to dump. Well we havent even so much as texted each other since the incident, I'm not going to crumble. I've already arranged to meet some girls next week.


Lol, apparently she has just got back with her ex, evidently "I don't want a boyfriend right now" was referring to a 2 week window. Part of me wishes I was a spiteful **** that would ring her up with a torrent of abuse, but It seems like allot of effort. I got played.



From what i've learnt, most of them are sneaky ********. They won't give up what they've got until they have someone else lined up.


Sounds like she was trying to be nice tbh. Rather than saying "hey, you are a substandard boyfriend", she tried to sugar-coat the pill.



I was a good boyfriend, too good. Thats why I thought she needed to be treated nicer when I saw how her ex treated her. But Now I realize I was too nice, women just seem to want to be treated like gooseberry fool. The boyfriend didn't have anything on me, except history and acting like a dick, why she would want him back, who knows (obviously she is comforted by the familiar) but I just have to swallow my pride and move on. I'm one hot mother strawberry floater and I will find someone else.


Yeah, because there is no middle ground between "too nice" and "gooseberry fool". Christ.

Women tend not to want a fawning sap who hangs onto their every word and with whom there is no spark, friction or, consequently, variety and interest. No one wants a wet lettuce. They want someone who stands up for himself and has a personality. To guys who can't acknowledge their own failings and who need to pin the entire disaster on the other person, this seems to mean they like being treated like gooseberry fool, whereas anyone with half a brain can see that's just delusional. Maybe the ex isn't as bad as she made out - perhaps she told you he was such a dick because you felt insecure about her past relations and therefore she wanted to reassure you. Maybe your judgement of this guy is entirely one-sided and as a result flawed.

I'm sorry you're upset and everything, getting dumped sucks, but every nerd thread where a guy gets ditched brings out the worst in you people. Suddenly you're being entirely shitty to every woman out there and it's not hard to see what made you unattractive enough to dump. Have the maturity to acknowledge that something between the two of you failed along the way and that it probably was both your faults, rather than starting to throw the old "women want to be treated like gooseberry fool, I'm such a perfect boyfriend, how could she ever turn me down!" gem around.


You ask - you get.

Harsh but pretty much on the money.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:23 pm
by Denster
glowy69 wrote:Well she has just been to fetch her stuff..and I did quite well. I pretty much ignored her, said hi to her mum. Told her she was out of line for putting what she did on FB and why I took her off my list. She couldnt really answer me.

And she went. her mum said she was sorry and has lost her patience with her, none of her family dont know whats going on and why she did it.

So all in all I was good. :D



Got to do it mate. Move on.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:30 pm
by Glowy69
I feel better for it, I dont want her to see how much it has upset me, when I told her didnt she think about it before she changed her fb status she went 'no'..at which point I polited reminded her about how much she used to get annoyed at me for not thinking what I was doing.

Im pretty sure she isnt seeing anyone, as she moaned at me for talking to her sister then said that she wants to take her nephew to watch the villa...to which his response was ''erm no thanks'' :lol:

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:30 pm
by $ilva $hadow
Jesus christ. I don't know what's more pathetic, Fatal judging women on his experience with one girl and then claiming that women are heartless and that, or Red for rising to the bait but then judging men on her shitty relations with them or just judging men on Fatal. :lol:


Glowy, if your girlfriend was a bitch enough in the first place then its probably lucky that you got out before anything happened in a marriage. Unfortunately these types of people exist in both sexes. You shouldn't be all like "I don't know how women can be so heartless in a break-up". Rather your comment should be "I don't know how she as a person could be so heartless". The way Fatal talks, it's like a woman has never been in his place before, where she's given her heart and soul to her other half and the guy has just trampled all over her and left her heart broken. Newsflash Fatal and Red, the position you are in is not exclusive to your gender, they're interchangeable and this 'heartlessness' bullshit is not gender related.


Glowy, don't let your bad experience turn you into Fatal or Red. There's plenty of women out there who aren't heartless like Fatal likes to think.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:34 pm
by Denster
I dont think Red is being heartless - more realistic. I think FE is still pained by the circumstances of his break up and i think threads like this stir gooseberry fool up for him.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:37 pm
by $ilva $hadow
I didn't say Red was being heartless. But she's rising to Fatals nonsense with equal amounts of nonsense. The way they describe the other gender and actually say that's what men or women are like is so silly. Those descriptions are not gender exclusive at all, they can be applied to both genders.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:40 pm
by Denster
True but what she catually said was that women dont like wet blankets who they can walk all over. That may be a generalisation but it does ring true. Certainly true with alot of the women in my acquaintance. I think FE view is coloured his own experiences. Red's is more observational.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:42 pm
by $ilva $hadow
I could also say that men don't like wet blankets they can walk all over either. I certainly don't. I need someone with a personality who can challenge me.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:44 pm
by Denster
Thats fair enough.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:46 pm
by $ilva $hadow
Indeed it is :lol:

It's just as fair to say that men can be harsh in breakups too. They can be lying cheating scum, dishonest, heartless, and women can be silly wet blankets who just do everything the guy says and are boring at sex.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:50 pm
by Red
$ilva $hadow wrote:I could also say that men don't like wet blankets they can walk all over either. I certainly don't. I need someone with a personality who can challenge me.


Did I say you didn't?

I made no comment on men in general. I did not say that anything I described was limited to men, or even applicable to men as a whole. Unlike everyone else.

It was specifically tailored towards that group of people (e.g. Fatal, glowy) who complain that women just like bastards. So read it properly.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:53 pm
by SEP
$ilva $hadow wrote:I could also say that men don't like wet blankets they can walk all over either. I certainly don't. I need someone with a personality who can challenge me.


Same. I like a bit of fire in the soul.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:56 pm
by Red
Most people do.

Re: Some advice please.. (depressing thread)

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:03 pm
by Denster
Just stop generalising - you'll only make silva angry!