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SillySprout wrote:The cast of Seinfield are reuniting for the first time since the show ended on Curb Your Enthusiam series 7, due to be screened later this year on More 4. Do whatever you must to catch up with this program, because it's a different class to anything anyone has posted here yet.

Larry David is a very funny guy

J-Preezy wrote:

SillySprout wrote:The cast of Seinfield are reuniting for the first time since the show ended on Curb Your Enthusiam series 7, due to be screened later this year on More 4. Do whatever you must to catch up with this program, because it's a different class to anything anyone has posted here yet.

Larry David is a very funny guy

Which is why Seinfeld is so great.

Skarjo wrote:It's no Frasier.

GET OUT YOUR DICTIONARIES


Scene Seven – Niles's Mansion
In the living room of Niles's house, Gunnar — a tall, thin-faced German —
is on the couch, getting his fencing gear ready for Maris. Niles comes
down the stairs, followed by Frasier and Marta.

Niles: There you are! [Gunnar looks up] Yes, I'm talking to you,
strudel boy! No one seduces my wife and gets away with it!
You probably thought because of my refined bearing and
swimmer's build that I wouldn't put up a fight for the woman
I love. But you're dead wrong, because real men have a thing
called “honor!” [Gunnar stands up; he's a full head taller
than Niles] Yow! You wouldn't know about that, would you?
Frasier: Niles...
Niles: You wouldn't know how decent people behave.
Frasier: Niles...
Niles: You wouldn't know the meaning of the word "rectitude!"
Frasier: Niles, he wouldn't know the meaning of the word "dog," "cat,"
or "pencil!" He doesn't speak English, remember?!
Gunnar: [to Marta] Wieso ist er so bose?
Marta: Ich weiss nicht.
Niles: Marta! You speak German?
Marta: Que?
Frasier: Uh, habla alleman?
Marta: Si! Yo trabajo para una familia allemana que llego a
Guatemala despues a la Guerra.
Frasier: Apparently she worked for a German family that turned up in
Guatemala... [deep voice] just after the war.

Marta frowns, while Frasier gives her a very Jack Benny look.

Niles: Well, well, good, good! She can translate for me! Tell her
to tell him—
Frasier: Niles, Niles, just wait!
Niles: What?
Frasier: Look at him! God, if he knew you were calling him "strudel
boy," he'd be wiping his feet on your face!
Niles: Hang that, Frasier! If there're going to be scuffs, they'll
be scuffs of honor. [to Gunnar] How dare you steal my wife!
[to Frasier] Translate!
Frasier: Oh, all right. [to Marta] Senor Crane quiere que preguntas a
Gunnar, uh, "Como se atrevez a robar mis zapatos!"
Marta: [to Gunnar] Was fallt Dir ein meine Schuhe zu stehlen?

Finally understanding, Gunnar draws his sword on Niles.

Gunnar: Schweinehund!

Frasier and Marta jump back in alarm.

Niles: All right, fine, you want to challenge me? [throws off his
jacket and grabs the other sword] En garde!
Frasier: Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language!
Niles, you can't possibly fight this man!
Niles: Are you forgetting? I've been fencing since prep school!
Frasier: Yes, oh, so what? The man was obviously born with a sword in
his hand! He probably performed his own Caesarean!

Gunnar attacks. Niles scrambles to defend himself.

Niles: Oh my God, he's gonna kill me.

Gunnar attacks again, driving Niles back to the fireplace.

Niles: [pointing] Farvegnugen!
Gunnar: [looking] Farvegnugen?

Niles breaks away and dashes across the room, tipping over the couch
as he goes. Gunnar chases him, and they fight near the stairs.
Gunnar makes a sudden slash, shattering a Ming vase.

Gunnar: [apologizing]
Niles: Oh, very nice, very nice, thank you!

Realizing what's going on, they start to fight again. They lock their
swords together, and Gunnar pushes Niles upstairs, out of sight.

A moment later, Niles runs downstairs and hides behind the stairwell
pillar. When Gunnar comes down looking for him, Niles ambushes him.

Niles fends off Gunnar's attacks and jumps up onto the piano. Laughing
with sheer adrenaline, he shakes his hips and gives Gunnar a "Take Your
Best Shot!" grin.

They fight some more. Niles slashes at Gunnar's head, but he ducks.
Gunnar slashes at Niles's ankle, but he hops over it. Niles grins
and swashes his sword back and forth. Gunnar swashes his own sword.
Niles swashes his sword again, but loses his grip and drops it on the
floor.

As Gunnar presses forward, Niles turns, jumps, and swings across the
room on the chandelier like a pirate in a movie — only the roof plaster
cracks, and Niles falls sprawling onto the floor.

Frasier: Niles! Niles! Niles, my God, are you all right?

Before Niles can get up, Gunnar presses the tip of his sword into the
soft flesh of his neck.

Gunnar: Entschuldige Dich sofort! Ich habe nicht Deine Schuhe
gestohlen!
Niles: [meekly, to Frasier] Is he giving up?
Marta: Piedme perdon! Yo no te robo sus zapatos!
Frasier: He says he wants you to apologize. He didn't steal...
your shoes.
Niles: My shoes?!
Frasier: Yes, I'm sorry. Apparently I mistranslated. [to Marta] Look,
he didn't mean, uh... not shoes, wife! No zapatos, esposa!
Marta: [to Gunnar] Nicht Schuhe, Frau!
Gunnar: Frau?

Mumbling in German, Gunnar takes his sword away and sinks into a chair.

Gunnar: Maris ist unwiderstehlich.
Marta: [to Frasier] No me puede contralar. Maris est irresistible.
Frasier: [to Niles] He couldn't help himself, Maris is irresistible.
[to Marta, in Spanish] Irresistible?
Marta: [to Gunnar] Unwiderstehlich?
Gunnar: Ja.
Marta: Si.
Frasier: O-kayy.
Gunnar: Aber sie hat mich abgewiesen.
Marta: Pero me rechazo.
Frasier: Oh, but she refused him.
Niles: Really?
Frasier: Verdad?
Marta: Wirklich?

Gunnar throws up his hand. Marta throws up her hand to Frasier,
who throws up his hand to Niles, who also throws up his hand.

Niles: Well, what did Maris say?
Frasier: Que decia?
Marta: Was hat sie gesagt?
Gunnar: "Ich liebe Niles."
Marta: "Yo amo Niles."
Frasier: "I love Niles."
Niles: She loves me! [hugs Frasier] Oh, she loves me! [hugs Marta]
My marriage is whole!

He moves to hug Gunnar, but ends up just patting him on the shoulders.

Niles: Give me five seconds, then tell him he's fired. [running
upstairs] Maris!

He exits.

Frasier: Oh lord, if only I can do something to help Gunnar and
Gretchen.
Gunnar: [looking up] Gretchen?
Frasier: Ja, ja, uh... [to Marta] Tell him that his wife loves him
very much. Uh, I mean, diga a Gunnar que su esposa le ama
mucho.
Marta: Diem Frau [points at Frasier] liebt ihn sehr.

Frasier smiles beatifically. Gunnar draws his sword, enraged.

Gunnar: SCHWEINEHUND!
Frasier: No, no, not me! You, you! Marta, damn your pronoun problems!

He scrambles to the other side of the room. Then, getting into the
spirit, he takes a sword down from the mantle and roars a challenge
at Gunnar.

Frasier: All right, then, you hapless wretch!

They start to fence.

CosmoKramer wrote:

J-Preezy wrote:

SillySprout wrote:The cast of Seinfield are reuniting for the first time since the show ended on Curb Your Enthusiam series 7, due to be screened later this year on More 4. Do whatever you must to catch up with this program, because it's a different class to anything anyone has posted here yet.

Larry David is a very funny guy

Which is why Seinfeld is so great.

As is Curb Your Enthusiasm! o/

Raxicori wrote:The early seasons of friends are awful, the later seasons are much better but still not a patch on the other 3. .

...What?

Which other 3?

By the by, the first three seasons were by several magnitudes better than everything else.

What died in The Beach House didn't come back to life until 'The Magical Dating Adventures of Ross' in S8.

When I was in New Yoik they showed Sienfeld every day.

Good times.

CosmoKramer wrote:

Cuttooth wrote:

Raxicori wrote:The early seasons of friends are awful, the later seasons are much better but still not a patch on the other 3.

WTF it's clearly the other way round.

And MASH? MASH just isn't that funny anymore. That laugh track genuinely ruins it.

You could easily say the same for Friends. It doesn't seem to be able to go 5 seconds without some canned laughter, even if nothing's happened.

You always got the feeling, some canned laughter or not, that every episode of Friends was shot with a live studio audience.

MASH has a laugh track second only to those strawberry floating bizarre Flintstones and Hanna-Barbera cartoon laugh tracks. It's almost unwatchable because of it.

Jimmy Shedders wrote:When I was in New Yoik they showed Sienfeld every day.

Good times.

Wikipedia wrote:According to Forbes magazine, Jerry Seinfeld's annual earning from Seinfeld, in 1998, was $267 million, making him the highest-earning celebrity that year.[31] Seinfeld still generates more revenue than most current shows, through syndication and DVD sales. He reportedly turned down $5 million per episode, for 22 episodes, to continue the show beyond its final season.[32] He earned $100 million from syndication deals and stand-up appearances in 2005 and $60 million in 2006.[33][34] He also earned $10 million for appearing with Bill Gates in Microsoft's 2008 ads for Windows.[35] Between June 2008 and June 2009, Seinfeld earned $85 million dollars, making him the highest-paid comedian during that twelve-month period.

He is quite literally, loaded.

Johnny Ryall wrote:

Drumstick wrote:strawberry float off Jigger.

He's right though.

strawberry float off Craig.

Saint of Killers wrote:*A scene from Frasier*

I'll be honest, just reading that gave me more belly-laughs than the average Friends/Seinfeld episode combined.

Saint of Killers wrote:

Skarjo wrote:It's no Frasier.

GET OUT YOUR DICTIONARIES

That's a brilliant scene.

And also indicative of the kind of classic set up and knock down humour that makes Frasier a really good show, I just find the characterisation really gooseberry fool and I imagine the writers realised it too.

But it got really bad for the last two of three seasons. Like a completely different show.

Never seen MASH, but it's fair to assume it was a bit of a trailblazer that inevitably feels a little dated now. As chock full of great lines and performances as Friends is, it does have way too many annoying sentimental moments. Seinfeld has its fair share of brilliant episodes, as well as a surprising amount of episodes that don't even raise a smile. And Curb Your Enthusiasm is mystifyingly bad. Larry David is George Costanza without any of George's meagre charm, and every episode is exactly the same - there's been a misunderstanding, so Larry gets into a pointless argument with a stranger, and because the whole thing is unscripted and spontaneous, more often than not the dialogue substitutes swearing for wit. I know I'm in the minority here but I don't care, Curb sucks.

TruGamez wrote:

Re: Seinfeld > Friends.

Both of them are gooseberry fool.

strawberry float off TrufaxUK.

I loved friends, harmless feel good TV, loved the later episodes especially as joey cam into it more, when he fell in love rachel and got shot down nearly made me cry.

Niles: All right, fine, you want to challenge me? [throws off his
jacket and grabs the other sword] En garde!
Frasier: Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language!

Seriously, so good.

Cuttooth wrote:

Niles: All right, fine, you want to challenge me? [throws off his
jacket and grabs the other sword] En garde!
Frasier: Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language!

Seriously, so good.

Yeah, that's an amazing scene.

strawberry float I'm gonna have to order another boxset now.

Skarjo wrote:

Raxicori wrote:The early seasons of friends are awful, the later seasons are much better but still not a patch on the other 3. .

...What?

Which other 3?

By the by, the first three seasons were by several magnitudes better than everything else.

What died in The Beach House didn't come back to life until 'The Magical Dating Adventures of Ross' in S8.

Maybe its the midlle series then, but it was definitely crap for a while, theyre all a big blur to me at this stage. The other 3 were the 3 other shows I mentioned, Frasier, Seinfeld and MASH. Anyone who says Friends is better than these is actually mental.

I never got MASH, why did they have a clock in the corner? Was their story telling not good enough or something?

glowy69 wrote:I loved friends, harmless feel good TV, loved the later episodes especially as joey cam into it more, when he fell in love rachel and got shot down nearly made me cry.

It's about time someone said something positive about Friends in this thread.